Everyday I stand here watching their passionate, loving relationship develop and everyday I wish for something terrible to happen to Elizabeth. This desire is turning me into a horrible, miserable person. I can’t help but long for Johns love and I can’t bear seeing them together anymore. These emotions are taking over my good judgment and all I can think about is getting rid of Elizabeth, so I can finally have John to myself. I’m sick of feeling worthless and I just want him to notice me. I go to bed at night dreaming of him holding me in his arms with his warm tender touch and sometimes I even dream about how I want Elizabeth to die a miserable long death. I wish the way he looked at her was the way he looked at me and I wish her happiness was my happiness. She has beautiful, luxurious, elegant clothing and I have to wear raggedy, old second hand clothing. I’m just the slave who cleans and serves food to him and he will never see me as anything more. At the end of everyday I wish that one day I will take her place and experience the passionate love I have always longed for. One day soon I will no longer have to wish and their will be no more Elizabeth. I will have committed the ultimate sin but I will gain what I have always wanted.
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